Je ne sais quoi
A Clay Season Recap on the eve of Roland Garros
Long time no post. Sorry—I’ve been busy with my day job (boooo) and I’m not the type to have a content calendar or anything like that. Additionally, there are just so many storylines in the tennis world to write about, I was getting anxious about what to include in my next post.
Obviously, this is the eve of Roland Garros ❤️🇫🇷 The second major of the year needs to be recapped, so I will be focusing on that the next few weeks, returning to my bread and butter format y’all love so much.
—But before we talk about Roland Garros, we need to check in on everything that has happened in the clay season. After the French Open, attention will quickly turn to grass events like Wimbledon and so on.
In this newsletter I cover the Clay Season’s:
☝️ Biggest Come Up
🥩 Biggest Beef
🫤 Biggest Flop
😢 Biggest Loser
🤡 Biggest Jinx
🏆 Biggest Winner
🎤 Shoutout(s)
☝️ Biggest Come Up
Mirra Andreeva
This time last year, 18-year-old Andreeva was ranked No. 38 before reaching the semifinals of the 2024 French Open. This year, she’ll be coming in at No.6 with two WTA 1000 titles (including Indian Wells) in her trophy case. The Russian will be coming in as a strong contender for this year’s tournament title along with Coco Gauff and Aryna Sabalenka who’ve held great form this clay season.
Off the court, it seems like everyone is on the Andreeva train, with stars like Sabalenka sharing photo ops, to accounts like wta and tennischannel mixing in Andreeva’s interviews with the likes of feed regulars like Jessica Pegula and Gauff.
🥩 Biggest Beef
Jannik Sinner and Carlos Alcaraz
Okay this isn’t necessarily a sizzling hot take, but I want to talk about how events in the clay season will shape this rivalry for years to come. The events of the last few months have developed this burgeoning rivalry’s storyline tenfold.
Sinner has returned from a three-month suspension looking great and sinister (he’s been wearing an all black kit). He bageled clay-court specialist Casper Ruud. People are taking interest in his spicy dating life. He got right with God by meeting the new pope. He looked great on the court—except when he lost to Alcaraz in the final of the Italian Open in May ending Sinner’s 26-match win streak.
Alcaraz, on the other hand, has been having a turbulent season and released an awful three-episode documentary on Netflix creating a narrative around him that he lacks focus, is a party animal, and maybe has a few screws loose still sleeping in his childhood twin size bed.
Last year, Alcaraz and Sinner met in the semifinals of the French Open only for Alcaraz to win in five sets. I believe this year’s French Open will cement their rivalry in the post big-three tennis world.
By the way, their all-time record is 8-4 in favor of Alcaraz.
🫤 Biggest Flop
Nick Kyrgios
Since his crash out at Indian Wells, Kyrgios continues to try to get attention with off-court antics by talking shit about Sinner on podcasts, announcing a tour (?) and that he’ll somehow overcome his major wrist injury in time for Wimbledon.
😢 Biggest Loser
Tommy Paul’s Truck
The American tennis star’s Ford F-150 must’ve been so frightened when a repo man came and drove it away from it’s Boca Raton home. Paul’s truck was repossessed after he missed a couple of payments. Since then he’s been “grinding to get his truck back.” That’s his baby. Don’t come between a man and his truck.
I’m not a finance guy, but I’m pretty sure you can just set up auto-pay and not have to worry about missing a truck payment when you’re traveling around the world earning millions from tennis tournaments. Something that’s also fishy (Boca Raton pun) about this whole thing is repossession seems a little extreme for a couple of “missed payments.” TMZ needs to investigate.
🤡 Biggest Jinx
Alexander Zverev
This is a new category I’m trying out. Comment below if you like it! Zverev is famous for losing, yet the genius decided to jinx himself in an Instagram post claiming he’s going to win Roland Garros. I’d be surprised he makes it to the final 16, but it’s good to have goals.
Recently, Zverev warmed up for Paris at the Hamburg Open where he lost in the second round to Alexandre Muller after “throwing up 37 times.”
Tennis isn’t a stranger to jinxes, curses, or hexes. I wrote about the Netflix curse in a previous post. With regards to Roland Garros curses, no American man has won the French Open since Andre Agassi in 1999. French star Amélie Mauresmo never made it past the quaterfinals at Roland Garros. Federer had a four-year losing streak at the tournament. The list goes on and on.
🏆 Biggest Winner
Ons Jabeur
Jabeur has been one of the most vocal figures about the humanitarian crisis in Gaza despite facing online abuse and being labeled a “terrorist.”
Being an ambassador for the UN World Food Program, she has been using her platform to speak out against Israel in recent years. In 2023, the Israeli Tennis Federation filed a complaint against Jabeur accusing her of “supporting a terrorist organization.”
Since October, 2023 the death count in Gaza has surpassed 53,901.
🎤 Shoutouts
⏮️ My Last Post: Does tennis need a supreme ruler?
🤓 Suggested Read: Garcia announces imminent retirement; will play last Roland Garros
🤓 Suggested Read: French Open storylines: Nadal’s tribute, Swiatek’s record and line judges’ last stand
🤓 Suggested Read: Tennis Was Once Ruled by Teenagers. Now, Not So Much.
🤓 Suggested Read: Carlos Alcaraz wants to be a tennis serve bot. He has a long way to go
Obsessed with your posts, even more obsessed now because you mentioned Gaza